Showing Empathy As A Leader

In this week’s Monday Motivation, I introduced the concept of an empathy map that can gauge where your audience (be it employees, customers, citizens) how they view you as a leader in four areas – what the audience says, does, thinks and feels about you as a leader or your organization. I thought it was a brilliant tool for leaders to use in the right way at the right time. I also mentioned that leadership in this era is not easy. It’s a tough time to be a leader because it requires more soft skill development than ever before. In a recent Forbes magazine article, they mention that employers (and employees) expect empathy from their leaders more than ever before. Both Daniel Goleman and Stephen Covey talk about the importance of empathy as the glue that binds. Leaders that have it and express it effectively are most likely to be viewed favorably and have the greatest success in motivating employees.

In this week’s blog, I do want to offer some actionable ideas on how we as leaders can show greater empathy to our employees and, as law enforcement, to our communities. This is by no means a comprehensive list, but it is a great start with these seven action items that every leader can use starting today:

• See each employee as an individual: In doing so, you can see both their talents, values, interests and, conversely, where they could use help growing. When we see the people who work for us as individuals and take the time and effort to really get to know them, we can begin to really understand not only what makes them tick, but how to help them grow their own skill set. Take a genuine interest in what their personal and professional goals are and what their interests are. In doing so, they know you care about them as people and want to see them succeed.
• Help to actively build a personal growth action plan for each employee:  Because you have taken the time through relationship-building to understand each of your direct-report employees, you can then help them to create a plan of action that will help them grow personally and grow the skills they need to succeed professionally. Each person will need a different approach. Some may want to find a mentor or coach – help them do that. Others may just want you to suggest books to read or classes to take to develop the skills they will need. Do that.
• Communicate effectively and often through an open door policy: Make sure that you follow up on each employee’s progress periodically and help to encourage and evaluate how they are doing. Telling them what to do is one thing, helping them discover what they need to do themselves is gold. Everyone talks about an “open-door policy” and it will often worry leaders because they immediately think about constant interruptions, but that’s not how I define it. Having an open-door policy means that you are willing to talk with them at a mutually-agreeable time with minimal red tape. Make sure your employees know how to reach you via email and phone without always having to go through a gatekeeper. Set realistic parameters, but don’t make it too complicated or it isn’t “open door.” Your willingness to be available shows great empathy to your employees.
• Involve your employees in decision making: As leaders, we know that often BIG decisions and changes will have impact on our employees. Being proactive and engaging them in the process early through surveys, staff meetings, and one-on-one conversations are important and show that you are considering the impact of these decisions on all employees. Even if the final decision isn’t really want an individual employee wanted, they will respect being involved in the dialogue and know that you took the time to consider their opinion.
• Be transparent and sincere about your own feelings and failings: Leaders are people too with similar challenges that some of your employees face. Write articles for social media platforms or trade publications that share your personal experiences in facing those challenges and overcoming them. Showing that you are not super human as a leader and that you found ways to overcome the challenges and failures you faced will go far in showing empathy for your people.
• Listen actively and with an open mind: Leaders who take the time to not only dialogue with but actively listen to their employees, have greater buy-in to decisions made and tend to be more intrinsically motivated to action. Active listening means being attentive by making eye contact and restating what you think they have said, and even what they are not saying. Pay attention to body language. Sometimes, employees are reluctant to be fully truthful because of job security issues or a personal trait of wanting to people-please. Make sure you are watching for this and encourage them to speak up or approach them for a one-on-one after a group meeting. Some people are natural introverts but almost all people will give body language cues. Learn how to read those and actively be aware when they occur.
• Take action: To truly show empathy as a leader means to take action on what you hear and see from employees. If you are actively listening and encouraging dialogue, you will want to take action to implement what will make things most effective for you, your employees, and the organization. Developing and practicing empathy as a leader will shift your perspective as a leader by seeing the organizational culture through your employees’ eyes. In doing so, as a leader, you are in a better position to take action and improve what you are seeing.

There are many other ways to learn and practice empathy with others. I encourage all of you to read any of Daniel Goleman’s books on emotional intelligence. My personal favorite of Goleman’s is Primal Leadershipbecause it simplifies the approach leaders can take to learn and develop their emotional intelligence. Unlike personality and values, emotional intelligence is an area that all of us can change with knowledge and practice. I hope this has helped give you some actionable ideas to show greater empathy. As Stephen Covey author of The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People says, “When you show deep empathy toward others, their defensive energy goes down, and positive energy replaces it. That’s when you can get more creative in solving problems.”

Go be awesome!

- Dean