The Power of Relationships

"Grandpa, will you come visit me?"

These seemingly simple words carry profound meaning in the bond between a grandfather and his grandchild. You might be wondering what this has to do with a leadership blog. My answer is: everything! (I'll elaborate on this later).

I'll be upfront – I didn't always appreciate the significance of relationships in the workplace - the appropriate kind, of course. In my roles as both a leader and an employee, I used to believe that accomplishing tasks was the paramount mission at work, assuming that everyone inherently strives for excellence. However, this isn't the case. Relationships should be constructed on the foundation of caring for others and assisting them in reaching their aspirations. I'm not claiming to possess superhuman abilities in this regard, but I do understand what solid relationships are built upon.

The connections we forge throughout our lives hold immense importance. They are the lifeblood of our existence and the legacy we leave behind. Every day, we either invest in building relationships or we don't.

In my experience, there are three fundamental keys to nurturing genuine relationships, and they are rooted in the following principles:

#1. Spending Time with People: Nothing can replace the value of spending time together. As a leader, if the only interactions your team has with you occur when things go awry, then you're not dedicating enough time to them. Time can either strengthen or weaken a relationship. Some employees require more time than others and this can be troublesome for the leader to balance the demands of the job and the employees. This is one of the leadership challenges of the past 20 years; spending more time with employees. Striking a balance and understanding between employees and leader regarding the appropriate amount of time spent can help the situation. Fortunately, with the advent of technological advancements, electronic communications can bridge the gap with employees.

#2. Working Trust: Developing a working trust is absolutely critical. Workplace relationships should be founded on a working trust, distinct from familial trust, but equally potent. Working trust is different than familial trust. It means holding them accountable, aligning them with the organizational mission and vision, and doing your job even when others around you don’t do theirs. This can sometimes be difficult as a leader, because some employees may expect familial trust in the work place. This type of trust is ill advised inside the workplace if you expect to get the most from your employees. Employees who count on familial trust will never reach their full potential. They will most often lean on "we are family" when times get tough instead of holding themselves accountable. Making employees feel accepted and comfortable is important but should not be based on a false since of "I have your back no matter what". The truth is as a leader, you can’t.

#3. Shared Expectations: Clear communication of expectations within the workplace is paramount for fostering strong relationships and connections. People should know what is expected of them without any ambiguity. Leaders should provide clarity about what truly matters. Sharing those expectations with people you work with is key to understanding the importance of the bigger overall objectives. This can lead to increased motivation and commitment to getting things done.

It took me years as a leader to fully grasp the value of relationships with the people we lead and care for. Relationships are the game-changers and one of the few things we carry with us when we depart from our organization and this life.

A few weeks ago, I had a heartwarming opportunity to spend quality time with my oldest twin granddaughters, who are nine years old. We were in the car having a blast singing along with the radio, laughing, singing loudly, and simply relishing our time together. When the music ceased, Addie turned to me with a question that struck a chord: "Grandpa, when you pass away and go to heaven, will you promise to come back and see us?" My heart momentarily skipped a beat. What a seemingly simple question, yet it filled my heart with love and gratitude. Simultaneously, it pained me to realize that such a promise couldn't be kept. Thoughts of my late parents and grandparents rushed in, imagining the joy of their return for a visit.

The power of relationships is profound.

- Dean